humm..i really got to say sorry..
sorry to the guy whom i love..
im sorry for breaking..
i totally hurt you..
sorry for being a coward.
sorry for not holding on.
but when i made the decision to break,
then did i realised how i would be without you..
i didnt dare to face you in tuition..
so i wanted to go to our "lao di fang"..
and somehow reminisce on our memories..
our sweet memories there..
when you told me you were going there too,
i was afraid.
i didnt dare to meet you.
i got there..
i didnt take the usual route..
walked from a different way..
when i got there,
i was looking around..
thinking if you would be there.
but i didnt see you anywhere around.
i wasnt feeling relieved.
i felt disappointed.
so i sat at a place we've nvr sat tgt before..
i brought bearbear in my bag..
after i sat down,
i just opened my bag and hugged bearbear..
i saw you running down from tuition thr..
you were looking and running everywhere for me..
even though i didnt pick up over 20 of your calls..
you looked really anxious..
as much as i didnt pick up your calls,
you still continued calling again and again..
im sorry for missing all the calls..
when i saw you,
i wanted to run.
but my legs just wouldnt let me.
i tried hiding from you..
stupidly stuffing my head into my bag with bearbear.
but in the end,
you found me.
but i didnt cry as much when you were with me.
when i saw you leave me,
my heart was stabbed.
stabbed through and through.
i bursted out in tears.
i just cried out like mad..
didnt even know if people were staring or smth.
i tried pulling myself together,
picked myself up and walked on.
but as i walked the path we always walked together,
i broke down..
like all the way out.
like some drama..
i've never done that before..
i was really hurt.
and i cant believe i beared to hurt you so badly.
i totally wanted to execute myself.
i hated myself.
when you texted me:"i think tonight was useless bah.and i think i made it worse.."
i thought about it.
you sent me home..
at my doorstep,
we just waited and waited for each other to respond..
we both wanted each others' baobao..
and we did..
after you left,
i thought and thought and thought..
i cried again.
but after that,
i realised how much i love you and how much you mean to me,
and your great significance in my life..
i wanted to go back to you..
just as much as you wanted me to return to your side..
so i offered to make breakfast for you..
hmm so we met in canteen this morning..
i know you were shocked when i called you that.^^
and im glad you understood what i meant.
I LOVE YOU MY DEAR.
im glad to be under your love,care,concern and protection.
im sorry,and i truly love you.
im glad i didnt run away.
im really happy you found me.
you really touched me with your love for me.
I LOOOOOOOOOVE YOU.n.n